how to safely retrieve anything from under my kitchen sink

as i've learned the hard way
1) open cupboard under the sink
2) immediately jump back
3) if no cockroach is already visible, peer in
4) wave hand in the general area of the soap, sponge etc. you desire
5) immediately jump back
6) if no cockroach is already visible, peer in
7) quickly grab whatever you need
8) immediately jump back, dropping item on floor
9) if it's still all clear, pick up your item and close the cupboard. well done!
Pro tip: have Raid on hand. a lot. NYC roaches are as big as mice and they don't fuck around.

Story time! Once I opened the dishes cupboard to get a dinner plate. The next thing I know there's a roach running up my leg on the inside of my pajama pants. Traumatized for life.

Hey, empty room, I can't sleep, I can't breathe

gonna see these guys in nyc on the 15th. this song is so super fitting. been kinda really lonely lately. and i can't sleep. which really shouldnt surprise anyone who actually reads this blog (if anyone does lol). i've managed to get really behind in work. at least that's how it feels. probably could've organized this coming week better if i hadnt slept through therapy on monday (one of the hazards of not being able to sleep at night i suppose...)
ugh enough with the pity party. i haven't done irreversible damage here. yet. once i post this i will do my astrophysics homework. i promise. maybe laundry first.
something weighing on me pretty heavily is summer plans. ive never even gotten around to writing up a resume let alone actually researching what i might like to do. i'd really like to go to chicago. i need a break from new york. i know, i'm not in new york much lately anyway but i mean i need another place to spend my free time. i'm just really sick of it all. time to meet some new people and see some new places. besides, i dont think i could survive another summer living with my parents (although i love them!)
ok i think that was enough word vomit for now. check out this song and whatnot.



Hello, Empty Room - WhoMadeWho

Hello, empty room
Staring at my loneliness
Mocking me in my lonesome bed
I know you've got very close friends
Like wall, 1, 2, 3

You, stupid room, give me hell
You took my dear Michelle
Hey, empty room
I can't sleep, I can't breathe

I got nobody now
You got somebody
I'll find somebody soon
You'll be a happy room
I (got nobody now)
You (got somebody)
I'll (find somebody soon)
You'll (be a happy room)

Hello, empty room
Staring at my loneliness
Mocking me in my lonesome bed
I know you've got very close friends
Like wall, 1, 2, 3 http://newyorkcitytheory.blogspot.com

I got nobody now
You got somebody
I'll find somebody soon
You'll be a happy room
I (got nobody now)
You (got somebody)
I'll (find somebody soon)
You'll (be a happy room)
I (got nobody now)
You (got somebody)
I'll (find somebody soon)
You'll (be a happy room)

fuck peter pan

Rant time. I got on this bus at 335pm with the expectation that i'd be in the city by 7:45. it is now 8:40 and I'm still in Stamford, CT. the bus was listed as an express to nyc meaning no stops in springfield or hartford. it didnt stop in springfield but it did in hartford for some reason so the bus is packed and super late and i'm mad as hell. and feverish. and starving. seriously all i've eaten since breakfast was a cinnamon roll. and this small child who has been parked next to me has elbowed me over a dozen times. i am miserable and needed to share. buuut it'll all be worth it cause I'm seeing Midnight Conspiracy at webster hall tonight with mr.oizo and chromeo doing a dj set. screwdrivers = germ-killing vodka + vitamin-filled OJ right? I'm telling myself this is a smart decision.

you hate(d) me the best

i watched every episode of nip/tuck last year(ish) and there's this quote that's still stuck in my head.

"when i was in there I was thinking that I truly hate myself and that’s the reason why I always go back to you, christian, is because you hate me the best and for some reason it feels right"

back when i watched it that line really rang true to me (minus the bulemia part of the scene of course). i am glad i have grown up and stopped being so self-destructive.

(watch from 34:00)

i'm a realist

found this quiz here. my answers are bold and commentary italic. take it and comment

Measure your romantic quotient

Question 1: True / False -- I believe in love at first sight.

i believe in attraction at first sight

Question 2: True / False -- I fall in love easily, and when I do, I fall hard.

not anymore

Question 3: True / False -- I believe there is a perfect soul-mate out there somewhere for me.

nobody's perfect. perfect is boring.

Question 4: True / False -- If I don't have passionate feelings for someone right away, chances are s/he's not "the one."
how impractical


Question 5: True / False -- No matter what challenges life presents, love can conquer all.

if you can find it, you gotta find a way to continue it. take a cue from two door cinema club.

Question 6: True / False -- When you're truly in love, passion never fades; it can last forever.
there are two statements here. i believe it CAN last forever but it can fade too. maybe i'm jaded.

Now, count up the number of "true" answers.
what is that, 1.5?

Scoring:

1-2: You're a realist. You are probably more interested in a partner who can take a toaster apart or get along with your eccentric parents than one who makes passes at you in public.
usefulness is sexy. the 'rents aren't that big a factor. who wrote this thing anyway??

3-4: You're a secret dreamer. You may harbor secret fantasies about love and romance, but you're still firmly attached to the idea that a partner is, above all else, a source of security and your anchor in life.

5-6: You're a total romantic. You can list the best on-screen kisses of all time—because you've watched them over and over! You envision you and your partner madly in love at 90 and still whispering sweet nothings in each others ears.

new england is an energy suck

things i wanted to be doing this month:
-photography
-scrapbooking
-going to the gym / losing a few pounds
-getting an A in architecture
-seeing my lover
-overhauling my room
-playing in the snow
-seeing my friends

things i've actually been doing:
-not my laundry
-staying in my room
-playing the sims 2
-unnecessarily arguing with my lover
-getting inebriated with a small number of people
-spending a lot of money on getting inebriated
-gaining a few pounds (stress-eating)
-blogging
-trying to adopt a rabbit
-watching bad tv online (eg. the bachelor)
-online shopping
-missing therapy
-missing class
-missing nyc

well, at least i'm watering my plants.

confession

i have been stress-eating my weight in chinese takeout and candy. i've been drunk every day this week. for your sake im glad you aren't available to be my quick fix. sorry im nuts.

I spend mine on being free

happy new year and all that =) i had a pretty interesting one to say the least.
anyway, just got turned on to this new track by jj. (free legal download of the entire album here) according to wikipedia, the beat on this is from a Dr. Dre track. I did my usual slowing-down trick on Audacity to try to figure out these lyrics because they aren't posted online anywhere but i still don't have it perfected. help is appreciated, as always.



Still - jj

I got summer on my mind
Nowhere else
Oh lord, take me downtown
To you
People show me love
But I can't take it
What I said was true
Real play can't fake it

Still they want to be with me
Still they want to leave with me
Still they want to feel like me
Still I can't believe it's me

Time you spend on me
I spend mine on being free
I'mma fly to N.Y.C.
I'll see you and you'll see me

I wonder why
Why you want to lie
When you see me cry
When you see me shy
When you see me high
When you see me die

Where we from you don't know
You will know where we will go
Yeah, I'm here, where are you?
There is nothing you can do

We open here with one thing we find that's new it's something
That we place in ___ our way over-played
A piece by Dre then we go and get buzzed
Get drunk, get crunk, get fucked up
(Fucked up) lyrics found at www.newyorkcitytheory.blogspot.com

I am asked why, no lie, at least you get to witness
Killed so many songs you'd think I have a hit-list
That street where we left your ____
Cause we are free and we get money

"being a dick" or "let's just be friends"

Me 5:46pm
ive already told you my expectations

Him 5:47pm
Mmm I fail your digital expectations.
Resoundingly.

Me 5:47pm
digital?
well if youre referring to the lack of texting yes, i dont like it

Him 5:48pm
Communications-wise. My sleep schedule is arbitrary & this appears to piss you off.

Me 5:48pm
mine is too
but you must be awake at some points during the week, no?

Him 5:49pm
I sleep between 9-12 hours every two days.

Me 5:50pm
yeah
so
in theory you should want to text me of your own accord

Him 5:56pm
in practice, much of my day-to-day activities involve more serious issues than texting the fifty or so people attempting to communicate with me at any one time.

Me 5:56pm
ouch

Him 5:57pm
oh don't be so thin-skinned, I'm not being a dick.
just explaining I'm scatterbrained enough as it is.
keeping track of immaterial obligations like text messaging gets low priority.

Me 5:58pm
i have friends about to arrive. bye.

Fuck you very much, originally uploaded by Lua in Wonderland..

i bet if i lay down right now i wouldnt wake up til monday

too much too much too much!!
and yet, really not enough.
i'd kill for some fresh, ripe pineapple
but i'd settle for a good nights sleep.

'til gone's another day

I first heard this song back in May from the urban outfitters playlist LSTN #2 (yes, that means it's free). When my computer died, I only had it on my ipod for the longest time and only played it now and then. I just got my computer back last week and transferred my music and remembered this. It's so deliciously ethereal and of course I love songs with sleep themes. It really reminds me of summer.

On a somewhat related note, I'm having a hard time with my restored music library. About a third of the songs on here are pop and hip-hop and other stuff from my high school years that I don't listen to anymore. Should I delete all of it? What if I one day want to listen to one song only to realize I deleted it? Isn't it a waste when I paid for all of this? But my iTunes is so cluttered! And so much of this is crap! But what if I'm feeling nostalgic and want to make a playlist of 1995-2001 dance tracks or something? What if I'm asked to dj some party where the kids are calling for Eminem? Help!



Half Asleep - School of Seven Bells

Sometimes I go whole days
listening bored, half asleep
I won't say anything
that's worth a thing to me One day,
Suddenly, time took a turn that once felt so brief
I blinked to see polite ghosts fading quickly

What begins as an unguarded
train of thought slowly can become
an addiction
to the slumber of disconnection
and the resonance of
memory that no longer has a shape
but keeps you numb
through the hours 'til gone's another day

Be aware, my darling
these things I say I mean
are just traces of something
I long to feel again I see
our time expand in the air almost forcibly,
spreading thinner 'til it dissolves completely

What begins as an unguarded
train of thought slowly can become
an addiction
to the slumber of disconnection
and the resonance of
memory that no longer has a shape
but keeps you numb
through the hours 'til gone's another day

Echo, originally uploaded by www.mattdevino.com.

there's never enough hours in a day

to do both the things I need to do and the things I love. I did manage to break my 14 month darkroom dry spell somewhat although it has yet to feel cathartic. I'm only 4 prints in (only one of which i don't want to completely reprint) so I'm sure relief will come soon. I'm itching to produce everything and be able to visually narrate the past year. It was a fun ride =D





aaand because all memories have music:

(not as good as the yes giantess remix but I couldnt find it on youtube or anything. click here for a free legal download thanks to their record label, neon gold )




(yep i took these)

slipping past, you won't see me

Funny, I was just listening to this and wondering if I'd ever posted it. Turns out I did, exactly a year ago. Amazing how many things in life are cyclical. It's like pieces of me are trapped in an Escher.
see the original post with lyrics here

p.s. I topped 4,000 views the other day thanks to some facebook friend of mine clicking over from Dallas. If you reveal yourself, I'll send you a mix cd!

i'm back

Wow that was a long hiatus. I'm going to blame the pressure of posting on my sudden departure. I just was too lazy to post Lolla day 3 reviews and it was all downhill from there. I've missed it though and had the urge to post many times but then in my mind there's been this backlog and it all felt overwhelming. This always happens to me; with academics, with my photography, and now with this blog. Hmm...
Anyway, this blog is something easy for me to get back into so that's exactly what i'm going to do. I may never post lolla day 3 reviews. who knows? whatever, time for music and photos!!

Demain ou peut-être jamais

This freebie comes compliments of circlesquaretriangle. Thanks guys =)

For those of you who don't speak french, the premise of the song is that the protagonist is going to change into various celebrities to please a guy. Then the chorus says you know I'm going to change tomorrow or perhaps never. I'd rather be single for the rest of my life than radically change myself I mean cmon it took me 21 years to get this far. Like popeye, I am what I am and that's all what I am. Not that I don't advocate self-improvement and yadda yadda and I'm far from perfect but you get what I'm saying, n'est-ce pas?




Oh Yeah (Keenhouse Remix) - Housse De Racket

J'ai un grand projet pour l'avenir
Pour lui plaire je vais devenir:
Stevie Wonder
Zapp & Roger
Earth, Wind & Fire
Isley Brothers
Lionel Richie
La Stone Family
I am Marvin Gaye
Donny Hathaway

Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah
Je changerai
Tu sais, tu sais, tu sais
Je changerai
Demain ou peut-être jamais

clara in new york city, originally uploaded by Chrissie White.

Michael Jackson
I am George Benson
Roger Nelson
And George Clinton
Herbie Hancock
George Duke
And Chic
Run DMC
And Berry Gordy

Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah
Je changerai
Tu sais, tu sais, tu sais
Je changerai
Demain ou peut-être jamais

Oh yeah, tu sais
Oh yeah, tu sais
Oh yeah, tu sais
Oh yeah, tu sais
Oh yeah, tu sais
Oh yeah, tu sais
Oh yeah, tu sais
Oh yeah, tu sais
Oh yeah, tu sais
Oh yeah, tu sais
Oh yeah, tu sais

a state of active boredom

I feel like nobody has an excuse to be bored. There is always something to do unless, of course, you're in some windowless concrete room. The way I feel is different. I'm bored but not for want of activity. I am cooking and reading and going out all the time but something's missing. Perhaps it's wanderlust, yet I feel happy in my current environment. I think I may start doing some creative writing. I just finished a "#1 New York Times bestseller!" and although the protagonist went through enough interesting stuff, it was simply not well written and the plot hung together like a bunch of cotton squares parading as a quilt. In short, I feel I can do better. Then I will also have physical evidence of my productivity to show my dad and reassure him that I am, in fact, serious about my education. I wish I could be in the woods right now and go exploring with a flashlight. The terror of the unknown would be exhilarating. If a bear walked outside my house right now I'd never hear it over the air conditioning. How boring.

Separating seasons and I think of you

Today sometimes a morning is one year old!

I am a much bigger Cut Copy fan than my blog may lead readers to believe. I've seen them live, I have all their music, they are the second-most listened to artist in my library only after Passion Pit because I used to listen to "Sleepyhead" on repeat every night to get to sleep. If you eliminate that one song, it's safe to say Cut Copy is my favorite music. Thus, it is more than appropriate that this song be my post to celebrate one year of this blog's existence.

At this point I feel pretty comfortable with what sometimes a morning is about. My main question now is does anyone I know read it? I know at least two people have told me they check it now and then. This question has me combing my page hits trying to see if anyone clicked over from my facebook page or from some other site that may imply that we're friends.



Nobody Lost, Nobody Found - Cut Copy

Always crashing to the ground
Always from the same height
Always falling down
And if you start a fashion now
Make me a believer
The seas will part somehow

Staring at a silver sun
I'm blinded
I can see you almost in my town
Nothing but a sea of blue
Separating seasons
And I think of you

Oh, oh, oh, burning in the face of love
Oh, oh, oh, burning in the face of love

Walking through a paper town
Counting all the reasons to burn the others down
Seems like every chance I take
Brings me ever closer to being far away

Black out, keep your colors dim
So nobody can see you
And let the ghost back in
Leave me heading to the ground
Always from the same height
And always falling down

Oh, oh, oh, burning in the face of love
Oh, oh, oh, burning in the face of love
Oh, oh, oh, burning in the face of love
Oh, oh, oh, burning in the face of love

(Building, building, building gone)
(Bulging bones are hard to hold)
(Mold is forming on the ground)
(Nobody is lost, nobody is found)
(Building, building, building gone)
(Bulging bones are hard to hold)
(Mold is forming on the ground)
(Nobody is lost, nobody is found)

Oh, oh, oh, burning in the face of love
Oh, oh, oh, burning in the face of love
Oh, oh, oh, burning in the face of love
Oh, oh, oh, burning in the face of love

empty daydream that keeps playing on repeat

I know this has been out for a little while and i actually had the lyrics all written up as soon as it was released but i was stumped about what flickr photos to post with it. Finally, i think i have it at least somewhat sorted out. The reason it was particularly important for me is not just because i love neon indian, but also because i have awful bouts of insomnia and a generally screwy sleeping schedule, as you know if you read this blog regularly. This song has become my anthem on those long nights; it's so haunting and beautiful. As is often the case, I am the first to post these lyrics online so they may be really inaccurate and i welcome corrections. thanks!
Free download over at wholeoats

EDIT: whoa weird how the video has masks and i posted a picture with a mask. that was pure coincidence. Awesome! It's rare that a video overlaps with the video I create in my head that much




photo by øndun

Sleep Paralysist - Neon Indian

talking cryptograms you know as well as day
keeping to themselves the words they'll never say
something you don't know
something i don't know
they don't know
shaping mirror eyes that might as well be drawn
i'll be a stranger by the time i'm up at dawn
someone you don't know
someone i don't know
we don't know

the lost girl in the midnight sun, originally uploaded by sensing-owls.

don't sleep
over you when i'm awake so just
don't sleep
in the morning this will all seem fake so
don't sleep
over you when i'm awake so just
don't sleep
in the morning this will all seem fake so
don't sleep
over you when i'm awake so just
don't sleep
in the morning this will all seem fake so
don't sleep
over you when i'm awake so just
don't sleep
in the morning this will all seem fake so

What kind of mask are you wearing today? | [ Explored! ], originally uploaded by ♥ Lisa.

won't you lose yourself in momentary grace
it washes over you the bruises that we trace
not for you to keep
not for me to keep
nor them to keep
empty daydream that keeps playing on repeat
each passing moment more decayed, less complete
we don't weep
and i don't weep
they won't weep

r., originally uploaded by d.rimms.

don't sleep
over you when i'm awake so just
don't sleep
in the morning this will all seem fake so
don't sleep
over you when i'm awake so just
don't sleep
in the morning this will all seem fake so
don't sleep
over you when i'm awake so just
don't sleep
in the morning this will all seem fake so
don't sleep
over you when i'm awake so just
don't sleep
in the morning this will all seem fake so

neon indian concert review

wow june certainly came and went fast i really haven't been keeping up with my posts. suddenly i'm getting a ton of visitors from france and i'm super flattered. bonjour et enchantée. looks like most french visitors are coming for breakbot lyrics so i'll post more from him soon (also cause breakbot is awesome!)

I saw neon indian live the other week and it was epic! i was front row center because i showed up at like happy hour. i also spent a good amount getting their vinyl and "should have taken acid with you" shirt. sadly, i didn't bring my analog camera because the rules vary so much on photography at concerts but i did have my cell phone so i did the best i could with that. those to follow.

There were two opening acts but i had no idea who it was. A group took the stage who looked like they were about my age. I raised an eyebrow at first i mean how could college-age kids open for neon indian? Then they played and i was in love. The vocals were great the songs were all different and engaging and it just plain sounded great! I made a trip out to the t-shirt/music vendors and discovered i had just seen Body Language but they hadn't played "work this city" so i totally had no idea. I dug out $10 for their ep "speaks" right then and there (although later found out it's $4.95 on itunes but whatever). definitely a band to watch. listen to Sandwiches on youtube and Work This City (Yes Giantess Remix) on last.fm so so good.

The second opener was Wild Nothing. Although they were really hot and charming when we chatted after, i thought their music was only ok. I'd never heard them before so it was hard for me to get into them but apparently that weekend they opened for the morning benders and they seemed well connected on stage so i'll buy a couple of things on itunes and give them another chance.

Neon indian is the brainchild of Alan Polomo, who composes all the music. Live, he performs with Ronnie Gierhart, Leanne Macomber, and Jason Faries. From where i was standing i could barely see Leanne over Alan so there really are no shots of her unfortunately. The performance was awesome. I saw them at bonnaroo but i had been completely unable to see the stage so i didn't get the full effect. They played all of Psychic Chasms plus the new single, sleep paralysist, plus, according to my friend, something from Alan's other project, Vega. Sounds like i have some more research to do, huh. They had good lights and neon trippy visuals. Alan and Ronnie were so close at times i could've touched them but decided not to be a total creeper lol. the crowd was good too apparently the show was sold out and every time we wanted to pee or smoke it was almost impossible to get back to the front. Neon indian certainly have done a lot in less than a year. it's worth mentioning that unlike pretty much every other artist/band i've seen live, neon indian played through every transition as if they were flexing their wings between flights. i liked the vibe that gave, like the band members were feeding off each other.

I met a girl there who had hung out with them after a show once before so with her encouragement, we stationed ourselves near the t-shirt/music vendors in the lobby. Sure enough, Ronnie and Leanne came out and chatted with us. They're mad chill. Ronnie signed my t-shirt so now it says "should have taken acid with you ronnie" haha. Neither Ronnie nor Leanne could reveal when their sophomore album may be coming out.

All in all i came away from that show feeling awesome and would totally see them again live and hopefully hang out with them again.
ditto body language who are actually playing july 1 with toro y moi at glasslands gallery and july 31 at mercury lounge. see you there

ode to caffeine pills

it's 6 a.m. and i can't sleep because i always forget there's caffeine in these stupid acetaminophen pills i take now and then (most recently around 12 hours ago) so i figure it's high time for a rant. i feel the need to rant at myself for ranting. i'm not talking about rants on here cause yknow if you come to my blog that's like reading my brain so of course it can be all about me sometimes. i'm just afraid i'm talking too much in real life, if that makes any sense. i met a bunch of new people recently and i feel like i just babbled away, volunteering personal information that they may not have been comfortable hearing yet. it's hard to gauge what's friendly and engaging and what crosses the line a little, especially when dealing with people from other areas, religions, etc. just as a random example, at the flaming lips performance of dark side of the moon at bonnaroo, wayne coyne (who did not look as smiling and sober at the concert as he does on his wikipedia page, belieeeeeve me) said something about the war george bush had gotten us into and i booed, forgetting i was in tennessee. of course, bonnaroo wasn't all tennessee people and not all tennessee people love dubya. my point was i really need to work on thinking before i speak sometimes.

anyway, yeah i'm back from bonnaroo. i have my little hipster moleskine full of concert review notes and i'll post that soon i'm just feeling so lazy on the internet front because every time i think about posting, i also think of the list of things i have to do that are more important. like right now i should be packing for going out to the tip of long island today. but instead, i'm getting some pent-up frustration out. unfortunately, it's only some because there's only so much i feel safe posting on this public forum. perhaps that's why i unload so much on unfortunate bystanders. aaaand we've come full circle. ugh. i feel so busy doing leisurely activities, i don't have time to take stock and figure out the rest of my summer. i've been wanting to take an academic course next month instead of that photography class i was excited about. i don't need more photography education but i do need to worry about my academics. well, if you've read my previous things labeled "chatter", you already know all this. my point is, paying for another photography class is superfluous. especially when i havent had a chance to set foot in a darkroom since... i don't even know when i guess that'd have to be last summer. wow. that makes me really sad. like remembering a pet that ran away a while back but just long enough that you forgot how it's fur smelled.

ok summer bucket list:
1) get school shit sorted out
2) process all film
3) print said film
4) clean room
5) bonnaroo scrapbook
6) read more books
7) become a world cup buff
8) cook my way through culinaria spain
9) deep clean my room (like donate stuff etc.)
10) concerts concerts concerts lollapalooza (just bought my ticket!)
11) get my bike from Massachusetts somehow
12) set up sewing machine and make stuff (at least the dinosaur costume)
13) meet more people in the city who'd do stuff like go to concerts with me and wouldn't flake if/when i want to throw another dinner party
14) grill
15) chill
17) learn how to make remixes
16) get laptop fixed (ugh)
18) go fishing
19) MORE ADVENTURES... where to go? maybe i should learn how to drive so i could just take off. i keep reading things on yknow "top ten summer road trips" and "most scenic drives in america". then again maybe that's a bad idea cause that shit's expensive, as i've learned. i did like the camping thing though. maybe i can go on some overnight hike somewhere oooh!

blah that wasnt much of a summer bucket list as much as a list of to-dos and wishes. whatever. i forgot to put "make my own peppermint ice cream" on there.

post-bonnaroo i've been super happy. i know this post might sound contradictorily whiny (remember, i havent slept) but seriously my faith in humanity has been restored. i embrace the world with open arms and am optimistic things will fall into place. i skipped seeing the morning benders on saturday to stay home and cook. it felt awesome and now i have guacamole. i also made my first peach cobbler of the season. sooo good! (hah get the reference? if you do and are willing to admit it, that makes you chill in my book)

CAFFEINE CAFFEINE CAFFEINE i'm gonna go make chicken salad at 7 in the morning so the chicken doesnt go bad while i'm gone CAFFEINE