ode to caffeine pills

it's 6 a.m. and i can't sleep because i always forget there's caffeine in these stupid acetaminophen pills i take now and then (most recently around 12 hours ago) so i figure it's high time for a rant. i feel the need to rant at myself for ranting. i'm not talking about rants on here cause yknow if you come to my blog that's like reading my brain so of course it can be all about me sometimes. i'm just afraid i'm talking too much in real life, if that makes any sense. i met a bunch of new people recently and i feel like i just babbled away, volunteering personal information that they may not have been comfortable hearing yet. it's hard to gauge what's friendly and engaging and what crosses the line a little, especially when dealing with people from other areas, religions, etc. just as a random example, at the flaming lips performance of dark side of the moon at bonnaroo, wayne coyne (who did not look as smiling and sober at the concert as he does on his wikipedia page, belieeeeeve me) said something about the war george bush had gotten us into and i booed, forgetting i was in tennessee. of course, bonnaroo wasn't all tennessee people and not all tennessee people love dubya. my point was i really need to work on thinking before i speak sometimes.

anyway, yeah i'm back from bonnaroo. i have my little hipster moleskine full of concert review notes and i'll post that soon i'm just feeling so lazy on the internet front because every time i think about posting, i also think of the list of things i have to do that are more important. like right now i should be packing for going out to the tip of long island today. but instead, i'm getting some pent-up frustration out. unfortunately, it's only some because there's only so much i feel safe posting on this public forum. perhaps that's why i unload so much on unfortunate bystanders. aaaand we've come full circle. ugh. i feel so busy doing leisurely activities, i don't have time to take stock and figure out the rest of my summer. i've been wanting to take an academic course next month instead of that photography class i was excited about. i don't need more photography education but i do need to worry about my academics. well, if you've read my previous things labeled "chatter", you already know all this. my point is, paying for another photography class is superfluous. especially when i havent had a chance to set foot in a darkroom since... i don't even know when i guess that'd have to be last summer. wow. that makes me really sad. like remembering a pet that ran away a while back but just long enough that you forgot how it's fur smelled.

ok summer bucket list:
1) get school shit sorted out
2) process all film
3) print said film
4) clean room
5) bonnaroo scrapbook
6) read more books
7) become a world cup buff
8) cook my way through culinaria spain
9) deep clean my room (like donate stuff etc.)
10) concerts concerts concerts lollapalooza (just bought my ticket!)
11) get my bike from Massachusetts somehow
12) set up sewing machine and make stuff (at least the dinosaur costume)
13) meet more people in the city who'd do stuff like go to concerts with me and wouldn't flake if/when i want to throw another dinner party
14) grill
15) chill
17) learn how to make remixes
16) get laptop fixed (ugh)
18) go fishing
19) MORE ADVENTURES... where to go? maybe i should learn how to drive so i could just take off. i keep reading things on yknow "top ten summer road trips" and "most scenic drives in america". then again maybe that's a bad idea cause that shit's expensive, as i've learned. i did like the camping thing though. maybe i can go on some overnight hike somewhere oooh!

blah that wasnt much of a summer bucket list as much as a list of to-dos and wishes. whatever. i forgot to put "make my own peppermint ice cream" on there.

post-bonnaroo i've been super happy. i know this post might sound contradictorily whiny (remember, i havent slept) but seriously my faith in humanity has been restored. i embrace the world with open arms and am optimistic things will fall into place. i skipped seeing the morning benders on saturday to stay home and cook. it felt awesome and now i have guacamole. i also made my first peach cobbler of the season. sooo good! (hah get the reference? if you do and are willing to admit it, that makes you chill in my book)

CAFFEINE CAFFEINE CAFFEINE i'm gonna go make chicken salad at 7 in the morning so the chicken doesnt go bad while i'm gone CAFFEINE